Now that I’ve gotten the preliminaries out of the way, i’d like to talk a bit more about my specific behaviors when it comes to sleep.
Note, i only know this because I’ve been told my sleeping habits by my mother. The following is one of the scenarios that she recalled after I had fully woken.
I can’t recall what was specifically said throughout the entire conversation, or what I dreamed that night, but what I do remember, quite significantly, was that in my dream I was either holding a deck of playing cards or participating in some sort of card game. From what my mother told me, she approached me as I was asleep and “woke me.”
I put these in quotes because I cannot recall any moment during that time that I was actually conscious, nor do I remember her voice in my dreams. For me everything is as it should of been; me knocked out and having some awesome poker dream.
My mother asked me, “have you seen my keys,” to which she said I replied “I have it in my bed.”
“What? Why would they be there?” she asked.
“The cards are in my bed.”
After that she claimed to have left me alone, that she was upset because I was speaking gibberish and she needed her keys. As I mentioned about my dreams, there were playing cards, so it made sense.
Why does all this even matter? I know you must be wondering that and thank you for sticking with me. This is the basis for what i’m trying to argue. There are points in my life, very rarely, when I appear to have gained some consciousness, to the point where I am able to speak back to the person who has “woken me” and answer their questions.
Yet, I do not remember these moments, ever.
I have never once remembered a a time when my mother has woken me during these episodes. I’ve asked her not to talk to me when she thinks I could be in a state like this because I don’t remember and quite frankly, I could say anything or answer any question.
There was another time where she claimed to have interrogated me about who I was with romantically at the time. I won’t go into details but it wasn’t very ethical of her.
All this has proven to me that when I “awaken” in this state of consciousness, it is very akin to hypnosis. I awaken on a subconscious level, able to say what I truly feel and think with no memory of ever having done so if the questioner didn’t wish me to know.
And the most important bit about all this; it means that it is very possible for me to have conversations with someone or something, and never know it…