Sometimes people ask me how I do it.
“What’s your process?”
I take a deep breath and I ask myself
how I’m feeling.
Am I lonely, am I angry, or sad?
After all the pain my mom has caused me
she texts me, only on my birthday–
and sends her wishes “with love.”
Am I frustrated? Am I nervous?
I breathe.
My dad is in the hospital
and I’m reminded again of how he
made up the best parts of my childhood
and how I wish he’d never left.
I breathe,
as if I just remembered how to,
and ask myself, “How am I feeling?”
What’s my process?
I can feel your pain and I just had to say that I wish I had some way to lessen it. All I can say is you can lie in confusion for a while. Don’t need to figure out these emotions because they’re very very tricky and uncontrollable. I wish your dad the best! 💕
LikeLike